Anticipatory Anxiety: Anxiety about having anxiety

We've all experienced that knot in the pit of our stomach and sleepless nights before an upcoming event or imagining all the things that could go wrong for some situation. The worrying thoughts start spinning, your palms get sweaty, your heart is racing, and your mind jumps around to a smorgasbord of worst-case and what-if scenarios. This is anticipatory anxiety - the anxiety you feel when worrying about something that hasn't actually happened yet. 

Some amount of anxiety and anticipation are natural reactions as we try to prepare ourselves mentally for whatever challenge may be ahead. It’s our body’s way of preparing us to take action against potential dangers…but no one truly knows what the future holds. So constantly wondering about how things in life will play out in an effort to minimize stress and uncertainty makes sense on that protective level. However, for many, it's more than just the normal nerves because of uncertainty, and Highly Sensitive People because of their depth of processing information, their tree-like thinking and empathy can really fall fast into this rabbit hole. 

It becomes a cycle of anxiety that takes on a life of its own - the anxiety itself becomes the primary source of anxiety (anxiety about having anxiety). This vicious loop of worry and physical symptoms like nausea, sweating, rapid heartbeat, and trembling can escalate into overwhelming panic. The anticipation and anxiety become a self-fulfilling prophecy as the fear of having an anxiety attack provokes more anxiety. It's the ultimate catch-22 of the anxiety world. 

When the fear of anxiety itself creates anxiety

If you struggle with anticipatory anxiety - or anxiety about anxiety - you are certainly not alone. It's one of the most common experiences I see in my coaching practice. The cycle can feel overpowering and inescapable making you want to avoid anything that might trigger those feelings of dread and panic.

I really want to drive the point home that worrying is a normal, healthy part of life. When this anxiety focuses on things you can’t control or predict and starts to impact your daily life, that’s when we want to slow down and check out what’s going.

By understanding what's happening in your mind and body during bouts of anticipatory anxiety, you can start to regain control over your thoughts and physical reactions. In this blog, we’ll talk about some ways to stop and overcome the anxiety and anticipation. 

The symptoms of anticipatory anxiety

The symptoms of anticipatory anxiety are similar to other forms of anxiety, but can often feel more insidious because the focus of the anxiety is so meta and intangible. 

WHAT IT CAN SOUND LIKE

“What if I lose it in front of all of these people?”

“What if I sweat through my shirt and there’s no bathroom nearby?”

“What if I get lightheaded and can’t sit down?”

“What if I fumble over my words?”

“What if I forget to get gas and get stranded?”

“What if this date, interview, etc. is bad?”

WHAT IT CAN FEEL LIKE

• Sense of dread or doom

• Difficulty concentrating

• Persistent or obsessive worrying and circular thoughts about your future anxiety

• Loss of interest in or enjoyment from hobbies

• Physical symptoms like racing heart, sweating, trembling, nausea

• Restlessness

• Hopelessness

• Sleep difficulties or insomnia from racing thoughts about worrying

• Emotional numbness

• Frequent frustration or increased irritability

• Repeatedly going over worst-case scenarios in your mind

• Avoiding or canceling plans

• Feeling on edge, restless, and irritable

The driving force is usually the dread of anxiety symptoms themselves - the pounding heart, shaky hands, shortness of breath, etc. Just picturing yourself trapped in that panicked state is enough to send you spiraling into...more anxiety. It's like experiencing all the crappy parts of anxiety before the event you're dreading even happens. 

Breaking the cycle: how to overcome "anxiety about having anxiety"

When anxiety about having anxiety grows more and more constant, we tend to focus more and more of our energy on trying to avoid or suppress it. I mean, of course. Feeling anxious is tiring. But feeling that way and battling feeling that way is simply exhausting (not to mention counterproductive).

So how do you stop the endless loop of worrying about worrying? While anticipatory anxiety can make you want to cut out things that bring the feelings up, avoidance generally reinforces the anxiety loop. While there’s no universal anticipatory anxiety treatment, try out some of these tips that may help.

Recognize and relabel anticipatory anxiety for what it is

Just realizing that you're getting anxious about getting anxious can help short-circuit the spiral sometimes. When you start noticing the thought patterns of catastrophizing about future events or worrying excessively about having anxiety, mentally relabel what you're experiencing as "anticipatory anxiety." This helps create objectivity and separation from the anxious thoughts making it easier to tolerate and work with instead of getting caught up in the spiral.

Practice mindfulness and bring yourself back to the present

When you find yourself obsessing about future anxiety, gently bring your attention back to the present moment. Anticipatory anxiety lives in the future that hasn't happened yet. It’s centered on hypotheticals and fears that haven't even occurred yet. Use grounding techniques to bring your focus back to the reality of the present moment, which is often less anxious than the imagined future.

Reframe your relationship to anxiety

Moving into a place of accepting that anxiety exists and happens will decrease the overall fear around it. Yeah, anxiety doesn’t feel great. We can accept that. But it is also temporary, healthy, and not ultimately dangerous. Can we accept those things too? The symptoms, while unpleasant, are just your body's false alarm reacting to a perceived threat. By acknowledging and accepting our anxiety, we can start to explore its underlying causes and triggers which will ultimately help us to better manage anxiety on a whole.

Don’t get swept up in entertaining a thought 

Notice when your mind starts spinning out into a worry story. Rather than avoiding the thought or obsessing over it, simply observe it, let it pass, and re-focus. Even more, when we have labeled these anxieties as thoughts and not ourselves, we are reminded of its impermanence. That meta-anxiety about feeling anxious is actually optional. You can feel anxious without being obsessively anxious about feeling anxious.

Be patient and compassionate with yourself

Above all, it's important to not beat yourself up for having anticipatory anxiety. It's extraordinarily common, and absolutely normal for someone with anxiety to get anxious about potentially feeling more anxiety. Anticipatory anxiety can make you feel trapped in a cycle of unease, but remind yourself that this pattern is breakable. You have the power to rewrite it through self-care, practice, and support from a therapist. You’ve got this!

Have compassionate support (and accountability)

Anxiety is sneaky. Having professional support can make all the difference when working to overcome patterns, overwhelm, and fears. Uncertainty and anxiety are unpleasant, and while we don’t need to learn to like it, it can be wildly impactful to have help in training your brain away from current associations and unhelpful thought loops.

How to heal anticipatory anxiety

Understanding, accepting, and normalizing the presence of anxiety in human life may sound reductive and out of reach, but is so completely possible with the right tools and support. 

Remember:

• Acknowledge the thoughts and worries

• Allow them to be present, but without putting effort into “solving” them

• Teach your brain that these thoughts, and anxiety on a whole, are not dangerous or permanent 

• Remember that you have survived this feeling many times before without consequence

• Use some of your self-regulation, mindfulness, and coping tools to prevent the thought spiral from taking off and re-center to the here & now

While anticipatory anxiety and anxiety about anxiety can feel overwhelming in the moment, it doesn't have to define your life. If left unchecked, this cycle of fearing the future can become miserable. But with patience, self-compassion, and the right coping tools, you can start turning down the volume on the worries and get back to focusing on the present to live more joyfully. 

If you’re looking for support and relief from anxiety and stress, I’d love to work with you! It’s time to feel calm, confident, and balanced in life; you deserve it! Reach out to me here.

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